Bondi has been alive with whales this season. As they travel back south towards warmer water they’ve been putting on quite a show. I was chatting with our local barista about their displays and he immediately became animated and told me about seeing one in the ocean as he was driving along the coast. His gestures became bigger as he told the tale and left the coffee making aside. He capped off the energetic story by saying ‘they just make you happpy’. And boy, is he right.
There’s something about seeing such a large creature leap into the air and seeming to defy gravity as they twist and flip backward or give a playful flip of their massive tale. It just feels special to bear witness to their choreography and they definitely leave JOY in their wake.
I’m very lucky to have had three different adventure breaks from my career. The first had me stuffing my Manhattan apartment into a pricey storage locker before setting off to ‘see the world’ for a year. Spending months trekking in Ecuador, Bolivia, and South Africa; wandering through laneways in Indonesia; soaking up the endless beauty of India; seeing the Skeleton Coast and getting up close and personal with the ‘big five’ in Namibia are memories I’ll treasure for life. I grew up worshipping the Wild Kingdom and devouring National Geographic. This trip was like stepping into the pages instead of being a spectator.
The next adventure break found me in the jungles of Costa Rica taking on a month-long yoga immersion challenge. I had always wanted to go beyond the 90 minutes on offer in the studio and this was my chance to dive deep. The monkeys were an added bonus.
Cycling from Broome to Sydney unsupported was my last big adventure break. And while my knees have probably never recovered (Australia’s not flat folks) I’m incredibly grateful to have soaked up the scenery and people at such a gentle pace.
Each break allowed me to switch from the ‘always on thinking’ self to the ‘get into the physical body’ self. I think setting a physical challenge helps to inspire the mind and allowed me to drop back into my career with new energy and JOY. I also learned that ‘dropping back into a career’ was entirely possible and more often than not, I took a quantum leap forward. Oh, and I also learned that taking out a pricey storage locker in Manhattan and filling it full of stuff you don’t really need is a terrible idea.
So, are you ready to break the routine and jump into an adventure break? Go ahead . . . JOY is sure to follow.
I was chatting with one of my favorite cafe owners recently and he shared that throughout his life he’s enjoyed telling people how rich he is. He said this always takes people by surprise as his outward presence offers no clues of abundance or decadence. He remembers telling one woman as they were both walking to their cars as she continued to express unfolding unhappiness regarding her life. She walked towards the Mercedes convertible and him towards a 15-year-old VW. As she noticed him heading towards the old car she said, ‘oh, you mean you’re rich spiritually!!’ And just smiled and said ‘no’.
I happen to know he doesn’t have a large bank account. Just last year he was relying on the kindness of friends for a spare bed in their home. But when he tells these stories he lights up. He says ‘Really, Julie . . . look at 95% of the world and what they have, how they live, we are so very rich!!’ And he’s right. JOY can always be found in the right perspective.
I wish it were as easy as scooping people up and letting them know how much they mean to us – how much we love them – that they brighten our days. But the darkness prevails for some and their demons are fierce. Our voice isn’t strong enough, in the end, to drown out their blackness. Daily suffering and pain. How can we help lift it, help carry their weight? Such sensitive souls – feeling everything more intensely. The highs. The lows. The relentless insecurity and doubt.
It’s a disease. A deadly one taking too many lives. Too many friends. And we don’t have a cure. But don’t stop trying. To listen. To learn. To help. And sometimes we just need to barge in and be inappropriate, be uncomfortable.
If you are gone, the collective ‘we’ have failed.
You are loved. You matter. And you are greatly missed.
Perhaps it’s odd, but I’ve always enjoyed the adventure that solo travels brings.
Along the way you battle the assumptions of others – you must be a bit sad; have no friends; be trying to find new friends . . . but solo isn’t sad. It’s expansive. The truth is it might just be about new. Pushing the boundaries of routine. Contemplating your self and your mind even the way you interact with others.
Yes, moments of lonliness inevitably strike – and that’s part of the charm, part of the challenge and evolution – truly missing people and really exploring what that means. Contemplating what the people in your life add to your everyday existence on this little planet of ours. And certainly not taking it for granted.
So maybe, instead of being isolated, solo travel is about reflection and reinvigorating the role others play in our lives and loving them even harder. Now that’s gratitude. And gratitude is the shortest path to JOY.
I was recently invited to a dress up Halloween party. And I LOVE dressing up in costume. After toying with a few ideas I decided to dress up as Cinderella’s ugly stepsister. And wow, being a very ugly version of myself proved to be very JOYful! Maybe it’s the push back against a society geared towards making us feel just south of pretty. We buy frocks, fancy shoes, luscious lipstick, cultivate new hairstyles and even polish our toes just to feel a subtle shade more ‘pretty’. Sure, there’s a ‘plain’ undercurrent as well, people who celebrate being make-up free and feel the need to promote it on Instagram. And speaking of pics, you can’t walk 50 meters in Bondi without interrupting a photo shoot. Selfies have become normal in every public setting and filters on offer provide just the right glow.
We’ve become obsessed with the surface. So to actively make my surface a little bit hideous felt naughty and intriguing. And when folks at the party realized there were actual whiskers growing out of my mole. . . . well, you can understand my JOY! Go ahead, push against the norm, embrace your ugly bits and see if you can find some JOY.
During a great conversation with my fabulous partner, I asked him if he had the chance to reflect . . . but before I could go further he said – ‘Nope!’ I laughed and then checked in to see what he meant. He offered, “I don’t hold up a mirror and reflect. I think I prefer a window – I like to look out.”
Wow! I think we’ve just cracked another Mars v Venus layer. Almost every woman I know spends a lot of time reflecting. And not just on her life, her actions, and her words, but the life, actions, and words of others! I see it unfold in the business world, daily. After a big presentation, my female CMO immediately dives into motivations behind individual comments, reading into tone and gestures displayed, even eye contact or lack thereof. I have yet to hear these themes debated by the males who were in the same meeting.
And it goes further. When a woman reflects on the behaviors of those she loves, she often can’t stop herself from offering ideas and ways to improve their particular situation. And guess what, when those observations are offered up to her male partner, he probably sees it as nagging. Why? Because he’s looking forward . . . out that damn window.
Find some JOY in a new perspective.